fido may be cute around the house.

lassi may enjoy tummy rubs from mommy

but you? you’re a foreign mercenary pilot, shot down by SAM missiles and forced to parachute in the dog’s territory.

fido is a war criminal.

lassi is a scalp hunter.

delivery note says “dog is friendly”

you know what i fucking say?

“fool me once? shame on you

fool me twice? oh god, oh fucking christ, jesus fucking christ i got bit again, motherfucker, son of a whore, the PAINNN oh fuck.”